Thursday, 5 November 2009

At a crossroad ..... AGAIN!

There I was all happy and smug as I had worked out what I wanted to do with my life when 'smack' it all comes tumbling around me.
I am in my final year at University, studying for my degree in Education.  After which I planned to go on to do my Teacher's Qualification and go into Primary School Teaching.  That was the plan.
I have been so focused and have been doing really well.  I'm heading towards a First Degree in case you were wondering!  It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.  For two and a half years I have stressed over my work, panicked because I don't understand something, stayed up to 5.00 in the morning to finish an essay and I have worried and felt guilty over feeling like I am not spending enough time with my daughter.
Now I am on the verge of applying for my Teacher's Qualification when now I am being told that the qualifications that I have aren't enough.  The experience I have is not enough.  I need more.  I had checked all this out when I started this course and my exam results were enough.  Now everything has changed.  Plus now I don't have enough "days" in a school.  When I told them that I run Brownies which I started FROM SCRATCH..... that counts for nothing.  I am devastated because not only do I now have to do yet another exam (I've already started studying for one) I have to join schemes and work in a school again.  Do they not understand that I don't have time for all this?  My husband has said to take a year off to focus on the 2 exams I need to re-do then go on to do my teacher's qualification.  I said that I can't do another year.  It's too much.  I want to get back into work.  I want to start my career.  I have put myself thousands of pounds in debt for what?  I am exhausted.  Instead of being encouraged and supported for changing my life and wanting to put back into the community I come across yet more barriers and hurdles.  I am so frustrated.
Well there's only one thing for it.  I'm going out to buy nail polish!
x

2 comments:

Mighty Lambchop said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you will be able to find a solution soon. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

P.S. I have tagged you!

Jodes said...

Thank you so much for tagging me. I am truly grateful x